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10 things to do when you are angry with yourself (for your mistakes)

Have you ever been worried about being exposed as a “scam”? You are not alone. In fact, it’s very common for people to feel like scammers. In fact, about 70% admit that they experienced impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. A Twitter poll found that 87% of people are experiencing this. Even successful celebrities like Tom Hanks, Howard Schultz and Natalie Portman suffer from fraudster syndrome.

But what exactly is impostor syndrome? And more importantly, how can you silence it?

Originally coined in 1978 by psychologists Dr. Pauline Rosekrans (ABPP) and Dr. Sae Yamamoto Aimes, the term “impostor syndrome” is a symptom of being unable to internalize outcomes and fearing exposure to fraud. Represents. ..

Individuals may also suffer from chronic self-doubt and believe they are not eligible to succeed, despite evidence of opposition. Insufficiency, Fear of failure, And the distrust that success is a matter of luck and timing is also common.

If you do not address this phenomenon, you may not be able to reach your ambitious goals if you feel like spoofing. In addition, those who are experiencing these emotions tend to be over-prepared or procrastinated. This clearly hinders productivity and goal achievement. And as if it wasn’t bad enough, Scammer Syndrome prevents you from pursuing new challenges and opportunities.

Do you feel like you are suffering from impostor syndrome? If so, don’t hit yourself. After all, there are effective ways to overcome these feelings in a healthy and positive way.

1. Do not hide.

“First, admit it,” advises intentional coach Claudin Robson. “You empower Impostor Syndrome by continuing to peck it without checking your self-confidence.” It can only be banished if you acknowledge it as soon as possible and break the silence. I can do it.

“Then we need to separate our emotions from the facts,” Robson adds. “One of the most effective things Impostor Syndrome does is to confuse perceptions of reality.”

If possible, take a step back and look at the situation objectively. “Recognize when and when you shouldn’t, and feel the scam,” she says. Evaluate and acknowledge the work, intelligence and insights that have led to your success.

You may even be able to take action by recognizing that the reason you feel fraudulent is that you are unfamiliar with the job. “It gives you a way forward. Learning is growth. Don’t deny it.”

2. Implement the STOP technique

In her book Cognitive Enlightenment, Melinda Fouts, Ph.D. Outlines a technique for overcoming impostor syndrome using what she calls the STOP technique.

“STOP is an acronym for” silence the oppressive player, “” Fouts explains. Forbes.. “You need to eradicate this tape, which is played 24/7, whether you’re conscious or not. When you’re tired, hungry, or feeling lost. The loudest sound is heard. “

To implement the STOP technique and rewire the brain:

A “launch sentence” is required to replace an inadequate tape. “I’m more than enough” is an example of a solid launch statement.

Place the launch statement in a prominent place, such as a car dashboard or computer. Why? The reason is that when the tape is played, you can’t remember the boot statement.

Keep saying “stop” until you remember the launch, Fouts says.

Put your launch statement in your own words and persuade.

While performing routine tasks, such as driving or exercising, practice launch statements so that you can remember them when you need them in the future.

“It’s said to sound simple, but it really is,” she adds. However, this technique is difficult when playing negative tapes. You won’t want to change the tape every day while your brain is rewiring itself. “It’s this moment that I can’t give up.”

3. Distinguish between humility and fear

When it comes to diligence and achievement, there is humility and then fear. In other words, having a high level of ability can sometimes lead to a discount on its value. But as Carl Richards wrote in a New York Times article, “After spending a lot of time fine-tuning our abilities, it’s a kind of way our skills look and feel natural. Isn’t it a point? “

The problem is that we sometimes feel worthless. But as Seth Godin explained in his blog post, “When you feel worthless, any kind reaction, positive feedback or reward feels like a trick, a scam, or a draw luck.”

It is possible to feel worthwhile without feeling qualified. And finding the right balance between them is important for overcoming impostor syndrome. “Humility and value have nothing to do with protecting our territory,” Godin continues. “We don’t have to feel like a scam to be graceful, open and humble.”

4. Store the “Bragg sheet”

Did you create your own “pride sheet” when you were sending your college application? If not, there is a clear explanation from Shawna Newman. “The boastful sheet is very similar to a student’s resume. It emphasizes achievements, important experience, leadership skills, and employment throughout secondary education.” In short, “It gives you. A quick reference guide with all the details and achievements for anyone trying to get to know better. “

It may be awkward at first, but the same concept can be applied when dealing with impostor syndrome. Just create a list of achievements, activities and skills. that’s it. Remember Godin’s advice and be humble and graceful.

As an additional benefit, in addition to being an effective method Talk for yourselfI also found that this helped me stop comparing myself to others. Instead of worrying about other people’s milestones, I’m focusing on what I’ve done.

5. Victory, celebrate the period

Achievements should not be divided into small and large. After all, you feel as if you are not affiliated when you have Scammer Syndrome.So the more you are Celebrate your victory, You will be confident.

In addition, we accept compliments without qualifications and practice listening to praise every day. Finally, be kind to yourself by telling yourself at least one kind thing every day. Then give yourself something suitable for tapping your back.

6. Build an army of superheroes

“Do you know how a company has a board of directors? In theory, it helps strengthen the company, maintain checks and balances, harness resources, and advance the vision of the organization. Ask inspirational speakers, speaking coaches, and creative consultants Tania Katan. “Why don’t you form your own board of directors and use your resources to strengthen your career, check and balance, and move your vision forward?”

“My friend Alison Wade, president of Techwell’s meetings, training and consulting, calls her personal board the” front row “. , And check her performance, “Katan wrote.

When it comes to Catan, she calls her a “corps of superheroes.” reason? “I dig up the idea of ​​working together to do good in the corporate galaxy.”

It is important to have a diverse group of individuals who protect you. Ideally, you need to change every aspect of your culture, your mindset, your skills, and so on.

Katan recommends meeting frequently, whether weekly or quarterly. “Share your experiences, fears, creative ideas and aspirations,” she adds. “Celebrate each other’s achievements.” We also need to support and challenge each other. “Discover what you can do when you work together.”

7. Visualize success

Imagine yourself crushing the presentation or project and follow the example of a professional athlete. Enjoy the relief of performance-related stress. And, more importantly, it helps you avoid focusing on the worst-case scenarios.

Last advice

There is no single formula to cure impostor syndrome, but the tips above are a starting point. After all, your success depends on your ability to combat the negative effects of it. For example, if you feel that it is worthless over time, Inconvenient anxiety If left untreated, it will lead to depression.

If you’ve tried the above, be sure to talk to someone about what you’re experiencing, such as a mentor, peer group, or licensed professional. And best of all, there’s a place at the table for everyone, no matter what your inner voice is saying to you.

How to Silence Impostor Syndrome Originally published calendar NS John Lampton..

Featured Photo Credits: Laurenz Kleinheider via

10 things to do when you are angry with yourself (for your mistakes)

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