You have one of those days or weeks. Nothing seems to be working, all my motivation is lost and I dream of quitting. Your confidence is empty and you feel worthless.
All of us were there, so take a breath. In addition, keep in mind that high-growth lifestyles are accompanied by fragile emotions. Feeling this way, you say nothing about your personality or abilities.
A Harvard Business Review study surveyed the CEOs at the top of the game and found last year that most people had impostor syndrome and questioned its capabilities and value. ..
With that in mind, remember that you are not alone.
But the longer you feel worthless, the less clarity and momentum you begin to lose. It’s normal to feel this way, but staying there is an option.
In this article, you’ll learn 11 things to remember and practical steps to get to the other side. Let’s dive into.
1. High growth equals high vulnerability
You wouldn’t have read this article unless you are someone who is committed to their personal and professional growth. And let’s clarify here. A high-growth life requires dealing with annoying emotions.
Well, for beginners, you are leaving your comfort zone. You are working on yourself. You are no longer a “speaker”, but the person who actually does it. It is important to remember that what you are experiencing now is a natural part of growth.
2. You are exactly where you need to be
One of the biggest misconceptions in psychology is that if you feel sick, you should feel sick... There can be nothing more from the truth. “Negative” emotions are as healthy as positive emotions. What can be harmful is our reaction to negative emotions. However, emotions alone are part of a healthy and normal life.
Todd Kashdan, Professor of Psychology at George Mason University, who wrote the book Benefits of your dark side Deployment:
“There isn’t much hidden prejudice against negative conditions. As a result of avoiding these conditions, you inadvertently disappoint your growth, maturity, adventure, and the meaning and purpose of life.”
This means that feeling worthless can be a catalyst for growth, not an obstacle.
3. Zoom out and move away from the trench
In many cases we can be in a momentary valley. It’s a place where we feel worthless and wonder what it is for. It’s not clearly visible in this place and it seems like a good idea to stop.
Best-selling author and marketing guru Seth Godin calls this a “dip,” and Adobe’s Scott Belsky calls it a nasty middle ground. Keep in mind that no matter how you name it, growth is never linear.
Breakthroughs lead to plateaus and lead to breakdowns. The reverse is also true. There are unexpected ups and downs and a final second challenge.
This is when you need to zoom out of the current valley. Expand your time range and realize how far you have come in the last 6 months or 3 years. This reminds you that you have grown up and it provides some coveted perspectives.
4. This feeling is temporary
Feeling worthless is usually accompanied by an emotional storm that confuses us, loses confidence, and doesn’t want to do anything. But keep in mind. Emotions are like the weather. Scattered, random and unpredictable.
Certainly, the weather can be harsh. It’s a random thunderstorm with howling winds, but the next day the sun comes back and everything is peaceful and normal.
Your emotions also work this way. Remember that the current state is temporary. In fact, brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor claims that any emotion lasts much shorter than we believe. According to Taylor, the chemical process of emotion lasts only 90 seconds.
What does this mean to you?
I feel better. You will once again feel worthy, motivated and excited about your life. Accepting this condition instead of resistance leads to a sense of peace.
5. I also feel this way is the most successful in the world
The role models, mentors, and people you admire are exactly what you are feeling right now. Due to their achievements, it is easy to put others on the pedestal. Sure, they never feel worthless, right?
This couldn’t be far from the truth. Everyone in this world, especially those who are growing, feel this way. Regardless of their social media highlights reels or online personas, they are struggling like you.
Some of the most successful people on the planet sometimes find it worthless. Recent documentary, The weight of gold, We featured stories of Olympic athletes such as Michael Phelps and Bode Miller who had been depressed for several months after the Olympics.
Think about it. These are the best achievers on the world stage, with hundreds of millions of praise and respect. And they too suffer from feeling worthless.
6. There are many things that are working
Being vulnerable can change our consciousness and stack up all the ways life is not working for us. We are thinking of people who have betrayed our trust. I remember being fired after giving the organization time and energy. We over-analyze comments on social media and are obsessed with not achieving our goals fast enough.
Remember to wake up today — 50,000 people did not wake up. Your heart is still beating at a tone of 2,000 gallons per day. You probably have access to shelters and clean water. This is a simple perspective shift that lowers the standard of gratitude and allows you to remember what is working.
7. Contrast creates perspective
We live in a culture that emphasizes 24/7 positiveness. We have to do our best — we have to find a “silver lining” in every situation. And these are great desires, but not real life.
Enter the contrast of life, that is, something different. Difficult moments, anxious emotions, and experiences of conflict in our lives all lead to new perspectives that would otherwise not be accessible.
Ask better questions in “Contrast”. I’m looking for a better answer. We call for help to build deeper connections. We will empathize with the struggles of others. You may get ideas about changes in our lives that are only accessible in contrast.
That said, stay curious. When we are interested in our feelings and what we are experiencing, we have compassion, not judgment. We continue to embrace new insights rather than labeling ourselves. All of this leads to healing.
8. Delve into the truth about you
A few years ago, I started storing digital files that someone advised me to call “the truth about you.” This is a simple document that stores screenshots, emails, compliment comments, and reminders from people you admire.
We all have in our hearts a folder where we can remember the truth about ourselves, the place where we appeared and followed. A result that surprises someone else. Consistency shown when easy to quit. This folder may not be available, but it is highly recommended to start the build.
But even without it, remember the truth. To do so, you need to transcend your current situation and emotional state and dig deeper.
9. This is why you work
If you are reading this article, you are interested in maximizing your potential and living a productive and fulfilling life. This means that you have a free-to-use toolkit — exercises, routines, and actions that are precisely designed for what you are experiencing right now.
Keep in mind that difficult times such as meditation, time in nature, journaling and long walks are the best times to use these tools. Remember the power of these tools.
Be aware that most people don’t do this job. Rather, they want to focus their time, energy and attention on distractions and entertainment. But you are here, and this is the time when the “work” really pays off.
10. Emotional agility is a superpower
Negative emotions are easy to distract and avoid because they feel uncomfortable, such as feeling worthless and lost. It’s easy to binge-watch Netflix, spend hours on social media, and drink and eat to solve problems.
Harvard psychologist Susan David talks about the need for emotional agility. This is a skill that can be trained and is defined as:
“Individual ability to experience one’s thoughts, feelings, and events in a non-negative way. Instead, encourage them to reveal their best.”
As an opportunity to practice this skill, think about what you are feeling right now.
11. Breathe, play, brighten and help others
When you are emotionally contracted, you also tend to be physically tense. Body language tends to be less open and the shoulders fall forward. It’s easy to tighten, and it’s easy to fight or escape.
It’s easy to forget that you have the best tool to get overwhelmed and back in the center: breathing. You can create a clear and peaceful state by practicing the highly needed deep breathing and box breathing techniques.
Another tool when you feel worthless is to help someone else. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? We have to focus on ourselves. You need to fix the problem and fix it now.
Oddly enough, we find healing by defocusing ourselves. It doesn’t have to be spectacular, but encouraging old friends, unexpected kind acts, or dropping snacks for a person on the street can benefit.
All of this can change your point of view by creating what psychologists call “givers high”.
What if you feel that your next growth cycle isn’t worth it?
There is no problem with how you feel. Judging our emotions is like angry, hitting a storm and demanding the sun to come out. In other words, it is a waste of energy.
Instead, use this time wisely. Even if you look far away, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Often it’s much closer than you think. Use these reminders and practical methods to shift your perspective and create the long-awaited breathing chamber.
Be kind to yourself. Minimize chattering of inner critics. Get out of the negativeness and chaos of the world and take a small step in the right direction. Celebrate small advances along the way, remembering that you are worth it and there is plenty of evidence to show it to yourself, as you do.
Over time, you will wake up and return to prosperity. You will be wondering what took so long to overcome this feeling and gain a new perspective and empathy.
More to remind you about your self-esteem
Featured Photo Credits: Joshua Rawson-Harris via unsplash.com