“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time on.”
Have you heard this quote? Social behavior is contagious. You may want to believe that you have your own will and are completely independent of the people around you, but the truth is that we are human and we want to belong. It is called affiliation motivation. There is an urge to have a personal relationship with others and feel like you belong to a group or community.
It’s hard to admit that our ego gets in the way, but we want to like it. We often go with what the group is doing because of its sense of belonging. It’s often unconscious. We are not thinking positively. “I do what they do because I want them to like me.” No, it’s me that drives us to automatically copy the actions of the people around us. It is the need for our subconscious affiliation.
“Three Need Theories”
David McClelland explains the need for this subconscious affiliation in his “Three Need Theory”, especially in the context of the workplace. Here, he categorizes these needs into three categories.
- Need for achievement
- Need for partnership
- Need for force
You may find it clear that we want to reach our goals in life, track progress, feel somewhat powerful as if we are in control of things, and enjoy victory. But what happens most unknowingly is the need for affiliation.
- Have you ever noticed sitting with your arms crossed during a conversation with a friend? Oops, the motive for belonging.
- I’ve chased the crowd when trying to find the exit of the building, but didn’t know where to go? Oops, the motive for belonging.
- Have you ever decided to be kind to someone on your team when you couldn’t really stand it? Oops, the motive for belonging.
We all feel these three types of needs, but one may be stronger than the other.
Is there a high need for affiliation?
If you are aware of yourself in most of these statements, you will be motivated to belong.
- You love working in groups.
- You seem to blend in easily.
- People tend to like you from the beginning.
- You prefer to cooperate rather than compete.
- Avoid high-risk situations and uncertainties.
- You like spending time socializing and networking.
- You may feel a strong desire to be loved and loved.
Do you think this is a bad thing? Want to be more independent and unaffected by others? Here are five reasons why your motives are really important. Without such an alliance, we cannot survive as a society. Read on to learn why.
5 Reasons Why Affiliation Motivation is Important
Here are five reasons why motivation is important and how it actually benefits you.
1. Teamwork requires motivation to belong
If you have a strong need for affiliation, it will automatically adapt to any group settings. You are more adaptable and will not stand out, become a leader, or do anything different. People will call you the “glue” of the group because you think of everyone’s goodness. Being a middleman comes naturally to you because you know how to take into account everyone’s needs and desires and make sure everyone is doing well.
We all want to feel involved in some way, feel part of the community, and feel like we have the approval of the team. After all, we are social creatures. Therefore, it turns out that it is important to feel that it brings value to the group, whether they need to belong or not.
Don’t worry if you are higher in other needs. Every group needs a leader who has a strong need for power to guide the group in the right direction.If you have the highest need for achievement, you Team player Encourage everyone to develop an efficient plan to achieve group goals and measure group outcomes.
2. You develop a higher degree of social intelligence
A higher level of social intelligence is needed to deepen ties with others and maintain good relationships. You almost feel what others are thinking and create this ability to adapt to them.People with a high need for affiliation often have a higher level Empathy.. You just talk to people and know how to make them happy. And more importantly, apart from making new contacts easy, you know how to keep them.
If you have a strong need for affiliation, networking events can make you feel very good. It also makes you the perfect employee for customer service jobs and other jobs with a high level of social interaction. People naturally feel better around you. You know how to maintain a healthy relationship.
When the need for your power is higher, people tend to respect you, respect you, and consider you their leader. You will, of course, act more from an authoritative place. People see you more as a competitive person in the group if you have a high need for achievement. It can adversely affect the sense of connection.
3. Affiliation can affect your healthy habits
Studies show that increased spousal similarity in post-marital health behavior has a positive effect on marriage satisfaction. The reason both spouses are happy when they imitate each other’s healthy habits is that they meet the needs of each other’s affiliation.
The same is true for a group of friends, colleagues, family, or roommates. If your friend is a heavy drinker, you are likely to increase your alcohol intake as well. Fortunately, the reverse is also true. If you eat healthy and take care of yourself, you will see a positive impact on the people near you.
The need for our affiliation is so great that we may be willing to act unhealthy just to belong to a group, even if we know it is not good for us. Our subconscious mind and the instinctive impulses we belong to are greater than our conscious thinking process.
This advice is important to everyone, whether you have a very strong need for affiliation: choose the person you spend your time with wisely.
4. Bonding with others is a natural remedy for anxiety
In stressful situations, the need for affiliation increases. Think about the world’s largest event and how suddenly people get together to create new hashtags, collect donations and support each other.
When stress is high, we tend to set aside the differences and look for that sense of unity. We work together to find safety in each other. Feeling connected to others, knowing that you are experiencing the same situation, feeling the same fear, and understanding what you are experiencing reduces your anxiety. I will.
When you connect to a group, you somehow forget the thoughts and fears of racing through your head for you to be part of a larger whole. At that moment, you are a group, not your own being.
5. Affiliation wants to give back to us
Whenever others do something good for us, what we want to give back is the connection and trust we feel towards others. This sense of reciprocity enhances trust, self-confidence, and impartiality in relationships and is deeply rooted in our natural reaction.
If we don’t have to belong, we don’t enjoy it much when others do something good for us, and vice versa. Giving makes us happy Because we know that we are accepted, appreciated and loved by others.
Start meeting your affiliation needs!
I found that my motives were not only about joining a group and being liked by others, but also about teamwork, social intelligence, physical health, anxiety, and reciprocity. Can you proactively meet your affiliation needs?
Here are eight simple tips to get you started today.
- Do something good for someone.
- Choose the person you want to spend time with.
- Dare to share your fears with others. They may feel the same!
- Join a community of similar interests, such as a reading club, language exchange, or hiking club.
- Play a game of teamwork with your best friend like a treasure hunt!
- Find healthy companions, team up, change your diet, start exercising together, or start a meditation course.
- Tell your friends and family why you thank them. Get used to expressing gratitude more often.
- Give a hug!
Follow these tips to start meeting your affiliation needs!
Featured Photo Credits: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com
5 Reasons Why Affiliation Motivation is Important
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