It’s only natural for couples to have a happy marriage, which is a daunting task and full of challenges to overcome. However, couples who have to face the challenge of staying connected despite long-distance relationships win a prize for one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome in their relationship.
A 2017 study by the Institute of Statistical Brains estimated that 3.75 million marriages were considered long-distance relationships. Also, according to the Long-distance Relationship Research Center, the number of long-distance relationships is increasing due to the increase in work and online encounter trips.
Fortunately, recent studies have estimated that long-distance relationships have a success rate of 58%, but this statistic is not worse than the current success rate of traditional marriages.
So what is really the difficult part of long-distance relationships?
Feeling connected is one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome in long-distance relationships. According to one study, the most difficult problem faced by long-distance relationships is the lack of a connection to the daily life of a partner. This disconnect leads to a decrease in intimacy and can erode relationships over time.
This feeling of discontinuity needs to be dealt with daily as relationships are growing or dying. This can be very difficult for couples who are far apart. Over the years of working with couples on the Couple Synergy Act, we have found that those who have successfully navigated long-distance relationships have practiced eight things that ensure success.
Here are eight ways to make a long-distance relationship successful:
1. Be creative in quality time
It takes quality time for couples to foster connections. John Gottman’s book, Seven Principles for Successful Marriage, recommends that couples spend five hours of fulfilling time together without distraction. This can be very difficult for long-distance couples, especially if they are not accustomed to separation.
Long-distance relationships need to be creative when spending quality time together, and technology can play an important role.
For example, a couple we work with has a virtual “meeting” that can’t be physically together, but stands every Friday night. They use this time to connect and share a common vision. This is important when spending quality time together. No matter what the couple chooses to do, this time there should be nothing to distract.
2. Stimulate as many senses as possible
When we are in love, all our senses seem to be stimulated. Given the traditional senses, our sight, sound, taste, smell and touch come alive with every moment we spend with our partners.
When we are away from our spouse, like long-distance relationships, these sensations can lack the stimulus needed to bond with our partner. Long-distance couples have to find ways to be creative when they are apart and to stimulate these sensations with each other. These creative ideas that rejuvenate all of these sensations, whether sending photos, audio files, delivered food and aromas, or anything your partner can touch yourself, are connected. Can be promoted.
3. Virtual intimacy
Technology has improved our ability to connect instantly with people around the world. It has also created a new way of expressing sexual desire and intimacy between lovers when they cannot be together in the same space.
Companies like kiiroo.com have used intimacy technology to develop apps and sex toys specifically designed to connect couples separated by long distances. Being creative with phone / virtual sex, intimate photography, sexting, and virtual masturbation can help the disconnection that long-distance relationships often feel in intimate life.
4. Write a letter
A romantic movie was made about a couple separated by distance and how their love survived by the letters they wrote to each other. Receiving letters by email can be much more meaningful than text or email. This is something that long-distance couples can duplicate in their relationship.
Writing a letter to your spouse can cause affectionate emotions that cannot be reproduced in other forms of communication, and you can always revisit and keep your sense of connection fresh, even in the absence of your partner. ..
5. Go to sleep together
The act of sleeping together in the same bed may be taken for granted by traditional couples, but the lack of this connection is worn over time for long-distance relationships. There may be.
The client I had a few years ago was engaged and was six months away from his fiancée due to work obligations. He and his fiancé became a habit of falling asleep together face-to-face. He woke up to see his fiancé still sleeping on the screen and reported that it gave him a sense of calm and normality.
Advances in technology have created an opportunity for long-distance relationships to share in this intimate moment, even when snoring is involved. The beginning and end of the day come together, effectively giving both people a sense of belonging, importance and connection.
As mentioned above, one of the most difficult challenges faced by long-distance relationships is the feeling of disconnection from your daily partner. This can create worries and beliefs if the partner does not know what the spouse is experiencing just because they do not spend as much time together as a traditional couple.
According to the Long-distance Relationship Research Center, long-distance relationships are more worried about unfaithfulness than traditional marriages. Therefore, if transparency is not the norm for their relationship, this can add more worry and more amputations.
Transparency can take the form of letting your partner know where you’re heading, who you’re spending time with, what you’re spending money on, and what you’re telling on social media. I will. It is important to note that this is not about asking for permission or being controlled by the partner, but about the feelings of the partner and not causing anxiety.
7. Healthy boundaries with friends
In fact, long-distance relationships don’t spend as much time together as traditional couples just because they are physically separated. This does not mean that you need to be socially isolated while you are away. In fact, people in long-distance relationships tend to be isolated from others and focus on their work to relieve loneliness.
Even if you can’t stay with the other person, a healthy social life and support system are important. That said, it’s important to build healthy boundaries with the people you spend with when you’re away from your partner.
For example, your spouse should know the people you are spending time with and what you are doing with them. Also, the people you spend with do not respect your marriage equally and do not push the boundaries that may despise your spouse.
Surprise your partner is essential in any relationship, and it is just as important in any long-distance relationship. This can be tricky for couples who are far apart and requires creativity and planning.
Surprise is one-sided and unexpected, so tell your spouse what you are thinking about them and that you have spent your time and effort showing them. These surprises don’t have to be expensive and extravagant. In fact, the ones that seem to make the most sense are small gestures.
For example, my client wanted to surprise his wife who traveled for work and arranged to deliver her favorite candy to a hotel room. Another client arranged to take his spouse to an indoor skydiving facility to celebrate his birthday. Gestures can be endless, but you’ll still pay big rewards in the end.
Marriage of all kinds faces certain challenges specific to their situation, and long-distance marriages are no exception. Couples must be aware that marriage requires work and long-distance marriages face obstacles that traditional marriages do not need to face.
It is important for couples who are far apart to recognize their limits, adapt to new ways of connecting with each other, and continue to develop relationships. In these ways, long-distance relationships ensure a closer relationship with their spouse and allow them to reach out to each other across divisions.
Other tips on how to make long-distance relationships work
Featured Photo Credits: Justin Follis via unsplash.com
8 Ways to Make Long Distance Relationships Work
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