A fast food professional guide to eating in your car

Bill Oakley is a TV writer That credit include The simpsons And Disenchantment.. He is currently an executive producer and headwriter. close enough Follow his fast food adventure on Instagram on HBO Max @thatbilloakley..

There is no better place or place to eat fast food in the car. The modern genre of fast food originated from American drive-in restaurants in the 1940s. A cheap, fast and delicious meal designed to be eaten in a parked or moving car.

The car is a dining sanctuary. In a private mobile booth, you’ll be freed from the prying eyes of (almost) judgmental strangers and enjoy your fast food cravings. Also, almost all fast foods have a sharp drop in taste and texture 5 minutes after cooking, so eating by car provides an efficient, obvious and quick solution.

Check out Adam Chandler’s masterpieces for the ultimate history of fast food. Drive-Through Dreams: A Journey Through the Centers of America’s Fast-Food Kingdom..

As a fast food enthusiast and some notable critic, I recorded hundreds of fast food meals in the car. Here are some of the things I’ve learned about eating on the road and in the car in time for the expected months of busy summer road trips after school graduation.

Parked meals are easier and safer (Duh)

To be clear here, eating and drinking while driving is dangerous. In 2019, the Ministry of Land, Infrastructure, Transport and Tourism estimates that more than 3,000 people were killed as a result. Inattentive driving in 2019.. Eating and drinking is distracting. Have you ever tried to find the last fry in your bag while barreling down the freeway? Of course you have. And you took your eyes off the road to do it. That said, few people will bite the car and stop right away. Especially because many fast food restaurants are still drive-through only.

Consider the right hardware

Soaking items and their sources are very difficult to handle on the move, but two recent inventions have made the process easier. French fries holder And that Dip clip..If you’re the kind of weirdo who likes knife and fork fast food like salads (or pancakes for breakfast), consider Handle desk.. Please refrain from driving with the desk attached.

Order carefully

Some fast food items appear to be tailored to the canteen while driving, while others are a complete nightmare due to clutter and awkwardness, or the need for a fork. Here are the best and the worst:

Ideal for driving

Illustration by Brett AfruntiCar and driver

McDonald’s Cheeseburger: An ideal hamburger for driving. Compact, delicious and drip-free.

Starbucks Bacon and Gouda Sandwich: Streamlined delicious. Like eating a delicious wallet.

Tacos Bell Potato Tacos: One of the only Taco Bells that is unlikely to ruin your shirt.

Chick-fil-A-Chicken Sandwich: A staple for both drivers and passengers. It’s neat and delicious.

kfc popcorn nugget

Illustration by Brett AfruntiCar and driver

Wendy’s Junior Cheeseburger Deluxe: The only lettuce and tomato and mayonnaise burgers I guarantee will not drip on you. (This is not a guarantee! I don’t know you.)

KFC Popcorn Nugget: It’s difficult to soak while driving, but it’s still decent when you’re naked.

Popeye Chicken Sandwich: It comes in a neat foil pouch that can be peeled off like a banana to contain the possibility of spills. You can also throw it like a banana peel from Mario Kart. (It doesn’t really work and don’t throw trash.)

In-N-Out Single Cheeseburger: It’s likely to cause confusion, but it’s well wrapped up, so why not live a little? I didn’t go almost anywhere last year.

Worst to drive

Large breakfast of pancakes and McDonald's

Illustration by Brett AfruntiCar and driver

Pancakes and McDonald’s Big Breakfast: The only possible way to eat this is to roll the pancakes into a tube and chew them.

Starbucks Spinach and Egg White Wrap: Super drip. The wettest and most leaky breakfast item I have ever encountered.

subway: Everything from the subway except rap and who gets rap on the subway?

Taco Bell Crispy Taco Supreme: It’s delicious, but your car is filled with finely chopped lettuce, cheese, and tomato pieces, as well as your clothes and facial hair (if your facial hair is yours).


Illustration by Brett AfruntiCar and driver

Burger King Big King: BK’s Big Mac lip-off bleeding source seems to have been fatally injured.

KFC Coleslaw: If you forget the fork and put it in your mouth, you will be soaked in coleslaw juice.

Panda Express: All of Panda Express except Cream Cheese Rangoon and Spring Rolls

Wendy’s Baked Potato: The only way to eat this while driving is to pick it up and chew it like an apple, but since it’s 400 degrees, you’ll need an oven mitt, which will definitely affect the steering feel.

Be careful of drip

Delicious gloppy sauces and spreads are one of the most enjoyable aspects of fast food, but they are killed by shirts and, to a lesser extent, trousers and upholstery. If you need to look good at work or in court, we recommend that you take the following precautions: 1) Rewrap the item to prevent leaks, 2) Push the napkin into the collar like an old cartoon eater, or 3) Take off your shirt completely and let the drips go anywhere. Or you may be more concerned about the car than your clothes, so use it to sit on your shirt and protect your seat.

Finally: Prolonged odor can be sweet

I religiously dumped all the fast food trash the moment I got home, but one forgotten night I didn’t. The next day, the car had a delicious chicken sandwich scent and got off to a good start in the morning. Live and learn. (Not recommended for fish items.) You’ll find finely chopped lettuce pieces in your car until the day when a dilapidated, no longer-driving car is finally dropped onto the car’s crusher. Absolute conviction. Think of it as a professional danger.

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A fast food professional guide to eating in your car

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