2020-11-22 01:57:06 –
Dear Abbey: My husband’s sister died in 2013. Her husband “Roger” joined her in heaven three months ago.
The house of my husband’s family (parents, grandparents) has pictures that he wanted and weren’t interested in because Roger’s family didn’t know their relatives. After the death of a person, I didn’t know the etiquette to ask for things, so I asked some people who lost their close family when to ask in honor. They all said it was okay in two weeks.
I asked Roger’s granddaughter about photography and told her that we weren’t interested in anything other than photography. The granddaughter was angry and said, “Everyone already wants everything in Roger.” Then she blocked me, and now I have no way to contact anyone. I am worried that the photos will be thrown away.
It feels terrible to offend my granddaughter. It wasn’t intentional. There is no way to even apologize. Am I wrong? What is the usual etiquette for such issues? — No family photo
Dear Missing: You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t jump over the gun, as others have asked about the disposal of your property. Emotions increased when the family died, and frankly, the granddaughter may have overreacted.
You said you “contacted” her. Was it online? I ask because it is best to address such delicate questions directly or by phone. You may be able to reach out to the surviving relatives by contacting the morgue where the funeral was held and the church where Roger and his wife belonged. If possible, it’s okay to contact us again in a month or two. I would be embarrassed if a family photo was thrown.
Dear Abbey: My grandson works as a restaurant server. When I took him to lunch the other day, I was told that if I pay by credit card, I should deposit the tip of the server in cash. (They offered to pay the kid, but I said I would leave it because it was my treat.)
He then explained that if there was a tip left on the card, the restaurant would wait until it was cleared before receiving payment, so the server would not receive the tip immediately. In general, businesses will only do it once or twice a month. Also, on your receipt, check off 15%, 18%, or 20% of your invoice. There is no way for the server to track the amount of individual checks. They don’t know if they have everything that comes to them or if the owner has some of the money in their pockets.
The server is just back to work, so I’ll tip a little more generously than before. I want to make sure they get their money now. — Cash is better
Dear Cash: I agree that barrel cash is probably the best way to ensure that the server gets everything intended from the client. It’s a shame that employers help with money for employees, but I’ve heard that parking staff do.
The deceased husband worked as a parking clerk when he was young, but his employer said he actually sewed his uniform pocket and confiscated the chips. Therefore, he always asked the parking clerk if he was allowed to store tips. A word to the wise man.
Dear Abbey, was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact DearAbby at www.DearAbby.com or POBox 69440, Los Angeles, CA90069.
Family photos are at risk after brother-in-law’s death – Twin Cities Source link Family photos are at risk after brother-in-law’s death – Twin Cities