Riverside, California 2021-06-21 08:00:35 –
When I became a mom, I decided to stay home. Working full time has always been a challenge because of my severe depression. I never thought it would be so hard to work. It was especially difficult because I also suffered from postpartum depression.
At night, while I put my daughter to sleep, I scrolled through Facebook and Instagram to see other moms posting pictures of their babies, and they looked very happy and we were together. In my online mom group, my buddies were back in the gym running 5K. It crushed my spirit. How did they do it? I tried an athletic group but didn’t stick to it. I copied what my new mom did and applied for a swimming and music lesson for my baby. I tried hard to catch up, but I couldn’t.
When asked when I was going back to work, I felt embarrassed and embarrassed to be at home. I felt lazy and worthless in every way.
It’s the kind of pressure women face on a daily basis, with or without their children. We should be superwomen, but we penalize that ideal. It is nearly impossible to meet these criteria, which has a negative impact on mental health. According to the American Psychiatric Association, about one in five women is diagnosed with mental illness, depression, and anxiety. Twice as many women as men experience depression. Women are also more likely to have eating disorders and PTSD.
There is a reason why women (especially women of color) are more affected than men. In my opinion, no matter what she does, she is alienated from it. Single women are determined not to be married and their mothers are faced with criticism of whether they are working or at home. If you are ambitious, you are bossy and operational. Conclusion: Women are valued more rigorously than men, which comes at a cost.
When I say I’m at home, I say, “Is your child at school?” “What do you do all day?” “Do you ever go back to work?”
There’s nothing embarrassing, but it stings. Now I’m at my own pace and doing what’s right for me, but I know I’m still judgmental. If I’ve learned anything from social media scrolling, it’s that comparison is a joy thief. We are allies and we should support each other.
Free yourself from “having everything” and the guilt associated with it. It’s a farce. We must first reject these harmful and unattainable ideals. Hopefully others will follow.
Remember that whatever you do or don’t do, you’re worth it.
Heatherlobe has experienced major depression, anxiety, and personality disorders for over 20 years, while at the same time fighting mental health stigma. She is Unruly Neurons (www.unrulyneurons.com), A blog specializing in the normalization of depression and a member of the Todd Hunter State Legislature’s Suicide Prevention Task Force.
Now we need to take care of mental health more than ever. Opinion contributor Heather Loeb explains why in this special series and explores other important mental health topics.
Here’s why it’s time to ditch the mom guilt Source link Here’s why it’s time to ditch the mom guilt