By Deedre Anthony, as Rachel Reif Ellis said
My husband and I always wanted three children. I was the oldest of my four children and loved being from a large family. My husband was the only child of my parents, but when he was born, he had siblings aged 18 and 20. Their age difference played a major role in his desire to have three of his own children who have each other as Playmates.
I also wanted to revisit the plans for the three children after each child came. My mom was at home to take care of me and my siblings, but I was going to be a working mom, so I needed to be able to cope with that work-life balance.
Building a family of 5
When the eldest daughter’s melody was born, we were crazy about it.She was easy Baby, It convinced us to redo it fairly quickly.I got Pregnant With Daphne when the melody was 14 months old. However, the transition to two children was more difficult than I had expected. Daphne had colic and I had a Caesarean section scar infection. It wasn’t the gorgeous and wonderful time I had imagined.
About 6 months later, I finally settled in a small sweet spot. I found my groove as two moms. Colic It got easier, and again because everyone slept well.
Originally, we wanted all the kids to be two years apart, so Baby Do all the phases at once, have all the equipment ready, deal with sleepless nights, and then move on to the next phase. But of course, you can’t always plan these things. At first, I was devastated when the interval didn’t work.But now i think i have us Baby, Julian, four years after Daphne was blessed.I didn’t need Baby Whenever Julian, the monitor, roared, Daphne flew in and said, “Mom, baby is awake!” Due to the large age difference, she was able to actually take on the role of her sister.
And I had built-in help! The girls were too young for babysitters, but they were great helpers. They learned responsibility. Of course, I sometimes dealt with their fear that I love my baby the most, but it told me “Squirting, you, your sister, And All three of your brothers. Just as you were a baby, your baby now needs a lot of things. “
Multikid learning curve
It may seem surprising, but it’s the hardest for me Parenting The migration did not add a third. It went from one child to two. At your beginning, it’s all about that one little person. Everything is a big milestone. So when the second one comes, you feel a conflict: can I spread my time and love between my two kids? How can I give my second child the same experience as my first child? I have a lot of new worries.
When the third arrives, you will know that there are enough Love Go around. Also, you feel more veteran as a parent and don’t guess yourself too much. Your past experience has built up the resilience of your parenting.You survived Toilet training For example, once you will survive it again.
As long as you’re sitting now, it’s out the window. Whether you are a single parent or have a partner, if you have more parents, life is definitely a juggling act. That’s one of the reasons I practiced baby wear with my son. I’m out of hands! Finding a babysitter will also be harder-and more expensive. Asking your grandma to see one child is one thing. The three are completely different stories. You need more room in your home and your car. Arranging vacations for a family of five is not always easy to solve.
But in the end, for me, the advantages of having three children far outweigh the disadvantages. My heart is always full. I love watching the kids interact with each other. It’s a pleasure to see them grow and change. And with three, you can relive those milestones over and over again.
3 people’s daily life
My husband is a farmer and I am a school counselor. He went for a long time every day because we didn’t live on the farm until a year ago. I usually become a single parent throughout most of the farm season from April to the end of November.
Now that I’ve moved to the farm, things are easy. I have to work after 7 o’clock, so I get up from 5 to 5:30 every morning and do some things before waking up my children. I try to do the laundry at least once a day. Laundry has always been my centerpiece as we spend a lot of time outside with our three kids and the farmer’s husband!
Now that the girls are 7 and 9 years old, I can help with the housework, so I’m not the only one doing everything. One thing I’ve found is that having two working parents can quickly fill up weekends with catch-up chores rather than fun, which can quickly lead to frustration. Therefore, we set the cutoff time for the house task. It also specifies family time that kids are really looking forward to, like the movie night on Friday night.
My husband and I make a good parenting team. We are both very easygoing and laid-back people who follow the flow. Usually when I’m stressed, he’s calm and vice versa. We work well together.
Being on the same page about how you become a parent makes things much easier as it can be really stressful. Something is happening all the time. Someone is always yelling, for good or bad reasons. And if only one partner is responsible for most of the luggage, it can easily lead to the end of the relationship.
Early in my child-rearing life, my husband and I came up with an “intimate contract.” We book two specific nights a week as time together. In addition, he takes over on Saturday morning and gives me time to write and browse stores and do whatever I want to do.At first it sounded really ridiculous to sign a contract, but opening up a deliberate time was a lifesaver for both of us. marriage And ours mental health..
How we raise children
We are a multi-ethnic, multi-cultural family. My husband was born and spent a lifetime in the south. I was raised by Jamaican parents in Sumter, South Carolina.Our kids love curry chicken A dish that makes you feel relieved when you eat Of my youth, and also some good southern macaroni and cornbread.
I grew up in a military base. There, most parents were immediately disciplined by saying: Please fix it. “But my counseling The background taught me another way. I try to explain their problems to children and teach them words that use problem-solving language. Instead of frustrating them, “OK, dig into the toolbox. What have you learned to help fix this?”
I want the kids to feel comfortable talking to me, even if they are wrong. I want them to know what I know by listening to them. For example, my oldest person is very motivated. So it reminds her that it’s okay to make mistakes, but it’s difficult to recover without honesty. My middle daughter is usually pretty open and transparent, but she’s stubborn because of the long days. So if you want her to do something, praise her first. “If you help me in the kitchen, I think this food will taste very good,” I say. And her eyes brighten.
It is very important to know how your child learns and how they want to give love. Not only does it help you become a parent, it also helps you have a better relationship, and that is the ultimate goal after all.
How about having three children?
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