They say we are the average of the five people we spend most of our time on. Think about the people around you for a moment. Are they really who your “tribe” is, or who you want to be in the future? Are they really real people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?
In this article, we’ll see why it’s important to be surrounded by real individuals. That is, someone who cares, brings something to the table, and first and foremost leaves all the fake.
How to find a fake person?
Finding fake people becomes a little easier when you work in an aid profession for a while. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, doing something, or just wanting to go somewhere. In most cases, there are secondary benefits — perhaps attention, empathy, or even promotion.
Whatever it is, you are better off working on their real agenda and keeping hell away. Here are some things you need to be aware of to help you find fake people.
1. Full of myself
Fake people like to brag. They love to see themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of all the achievements they have achieved and every part of their body and claim to be “the best in their work.”
Most of these people aren’t really that good in real life. But they act as they do and ensure that they look better than the next person. The problem for you is that you may feel yourself always “below” them and frustrated by their constant need for attention.
2. Muddy when expressing their feelings
Have you ever tried to have a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. That’s because their emotional intelligence is limited and they don’t know how they really feel deep. And there is also a reason why you don’t want to expose your true emotions, no matter how normal they are.
It’s much harder to say “I’m the best in my job” while sharing “average” feelings with “equal” people.
3. Zero self-reflection
To grow, you need to accept feedback from others. We need to accept our strengths and weaknesses. We all have to come in different ways and accept that we can always improve.
Introspection We demand that we think, forgive, admit our mistakes, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, you must be able to adopt a level of authenticity and depth that fake people do not have on a daily basis. Fake people generally do not apologize, but when they do, they often follow “but” on their next breath.
4. Unrealistic perception
Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world. That is, what you want to express to others (pseudo-achievements, materialistic benefits, or created happiness), or simply a way to truly see your outside life.
Many fake people hide the pain, shame, and other underlying reasons for their behavior. This can explain why they can’t be genuine and / or it’s difficult to see their environment objectively (both good and bad) in some way.
5. Love attention
As mentioned earlier, the greatest sign that something is wrong with someone’s behavior can be established by how much attention they love. Are you disturbed every time you talk to someone who wants to make sure the spotlight is back? Are you always focused on them, regardless of topic? If yes, you are probably dealing with a fake person.
6. Make people happy
I’m grateful, but it’s even better to have everyone like you. It’s completely unrealistic for most people to always please everyone, but fake people always seem to ask for approval and always say “yes”.
Well, this is a problem for two reasons. First, these people simply say yes to things for their own satisfaction. Second, they often changed their minds or withdrew their offers for some reason (“I would have liked it, but my grandmother suddenly got sick.”), And this year I am dissatisfied with the 100th time.
7. Irony and ironic
The fake people behind the chronically pasted smiles are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because behind the life of postcards, they are often unhappy. Irony and ironic are well known for acting as defense mechanisms, sometimes even detouring. Whether it’s boosting yourself or defeating people, you can continue to feel at the top of the world.
8. Cheesy friends
Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and any news you might have to share. In fact, when you share exciting or bad news, you may find yourself moving away from them, knowing that they always end up in one way, their way. In addition, it may not be available when you really need it, or worse, you may cancel your plan shortly before.
It is not uncommon to hear that fake people are always speaking behind them. To be honest, if they do it to others, they do it to you too. If your “friends” constantly offend you, believe me, they haven’t achieved their goals, and they’re just not good people to be around.
The sooner you learn to find these fake people, the more you can meet meaningful individuals again.
How to deal with fake people moving forward?
It’s important to remind yourself You deserve more Than what you are getting. You are worthy, worthy, valuable and as important as the next person.
There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips for dealing with these.
Make the boundaries very clear.As explained in the book Unlock resilienceBoundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to choke you. When fake people become emotional vampires, try to stay away, limit contact, and replace them with more valuable interactions.
2. Do not take their actions personally
Sadly, they probably behave this way before they know you and will last much longer after you move on. It’s not about you. It’s about their inner need to fill the void you aren’t responsible for. And to be honest, unless you’re a trained professional, it’s unlikely to improve it anyway.
3. Be frank and honest about your feelings
If your “friends” get hurt or engage in behaviors that you are struggling with, let them know in the way you want, well and firmly. But let them know that they are influencing you. Hopefully it’s great. If not, you know you’ve tried to reach out when you feel better and ready to move on. Your conscience is clear.
4. Ask for advice
If you don’t know what you’re looking at or what you’re feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps your relatives, best friends, or colleagues have some opinion about whether you are overreacting or seeing real concerns.
Well, you don’t want to crouch down to their level after all, so don’t confuse gossip behind fake people with asking for advice. But a little reminder about how to stay on your own wellness track will never hurt.
5. Dig deeper
Well, this is provided carefully. If you’re emotionally strong, guaranteed not to get hooked on it, and have the skills to manage, you can probably dig into why fake people are acting like them.
Are they suffering from recent trauma? Have they been rejected for the rest of their lives?They are Self-esteem It’s so low, do I have to rely on making it feel as good as possible? At times, understanding a person’s behavior can help handle it.
6. Practice self-care!
Obviously, keeping some distance between the fake and yourself is probably the way to go. However, it may take some time to get there. In the meantime, practice self-care, be kind to yourself, and make up for a lot of positive things!
Self-care is as easy as taking a hot shower after talking or declining an invitation when you’re not happy with the challenge.
Finding a fake person is not that difficult. They shine in the atmosphere they want to be general. However, in most cases there is a reason for this. Calling their actions may be the first step. Providing support to them may be second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to move away and embrace the aggressiveness you deserve.
Remember that life is a roller coaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments that you will not change for the world. So look around and take the time to pick the right person to share everything with.
We are the average of the 5 people who spend the most time, so take a closer look and choose wisely!
More tips for dealing with fake people
Featured Photo Credits: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com
How to find fake people (and how to deal with them)
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