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I canceled my vacation because my friend set up GoFundMe to help pay for my sick pet. Why do I need to help fund her trip?

I have questions about etiquette and ethics surrounding GoFundMe. I was planning a vacation with a very old and close friend this summer. I paid the deposit earlier this year and still got a refund for another month. This was important to me as I didn’t know if it would be blocked again this summer.

Recently, one of my friend’s animals became ill and required costly procedures. The money was a bit tight, so I was hoping to call at any time to cancel or at least postpone the vacation. I had never received the call, but instead received a GoFundMe notification to support the animal procedure.

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I called this friend and suggested canceling the vacation as they had to ask for donations.

A day or two later, I called this friend and suggested that I cancel my vacation because I had to ask for a donation. Instead, my friends didn’t have a clue as to why I would suggest such a thing, and we exploded, especially as they said they deserved a vacation.

I ended up canceling, and just told her to hold my deposit and use it as she deems appropriate.

I felt it was wrong to go on a trip that was indirectly funded by someone else. In my world, you shouldn’t rely on GoFundMe until you’ve exhausted all the other reasonable options. If the trip was non-refundable, I wouldn’t even offer to cancel.

I feel pretty strong about taking care of companion animals, so I probably offered to kick more than my share. I’m in my mid-50s and may not understand the morals and ethics around crowdfunding sites. Can you handle this? Especially since this seems to have hurt the friendship decades ago, I need a rational and appropriate perspective. Thank you very much.

friend

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Dear friend,

GoFundMe is a strange beast.Everyone from From Roger Stone to Kanye West I have set up an account for donations. Some are more successful than others. Recently, Kylie Jenner, who is reportedly a millionaire, shared a make-up artist’s GoFundMe account and asked people to donate to his medical expenses after a car accident. Jenner found many flaws.

Why do the public have to pay for her make-up artist’s medical bill when others face such costs and Instagram doesn’t have a well-known friend with 230 million followers? Is it? By the way, why doesn’t she pay for herself? However, that discussion works in both ways. Yes, the general public is not an ATM machine, but so is Kylie Jenner.

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You left the vacation based on this moral judgment, and your friends left your friendship because of the judgment.

Anger arises because people are asked to contribute. People feel it is the trigger. Such people consider the GoFundMe page to be virtual pan-handling, and their personal boundaries are squeezed under the pressure of all emails and Facebook messages asking “brothers, sisters, do you spare a dime?” I feel that. The beauty of GoFundMe is what you don’t Have got If you don’t want to contribute.

You can say or do one of the following three: 1. “Sheila has a GoFundMe page to help pay for cat liver problems. That’s great. Poor Sheila. Poor cat!” 2. “Sheila has a GoFundMe page for Kevinthe Cat. Who do you think she is? ? We all have problems! “Or 3.” If she thinks I’m going on vacation with her while having a stranger pay for a cat, she’s not Will happen. “

Number 3 is the trickiest of the three.Canceling a vacation with a friend with a grudge, not because it is right or wrong to ask for help paying a veterinary bill when she can spend the vacation money or part of it , Because I decided to volunteer to disapprove her decision None You are being asked for your opinion on it. You judged her, and then you punished her.

Perhaps she was afraid of the cat’s health and needed emotional support. “How are you Kevin? I don’t have the money to help you, but please tell me if there’s anything else you can do.” Maybe she needed a holiday. Or I really wanted it. Money was heading for sick animals. It didn’t fund her vacation. They cost two instead of one.

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Those who know how to write inspirational stories and are photogenic will collect more money than those who do not have any of those features.

GoFundMe helps a lot of people, and there are also many opportunities to seek free money. That is their gig. And when people use it for fraud, GoFundMe intervenes and refunds donations. (I remember a New Jersey couple who raised $ 400,000 to help a homeless man, but were they all vigilant? It all came Crash around them.. )

A photogenic person who knows how to write an inspirational story will probably collect more money than necessary than someone who is not familiar with camera-enabled traits or social media. It is not a place of equal competition. No one said that life was fair. Our challenge is to determine what is right for us and resist cracking down on the actions of others.

If you cancel your vacation because of this And I told her why, you absolutely risked losing friendship. You left the vacation based on this moral judgment, and your friends left your friendship because of the judgment. By doing what you did, you were effectively showing her your teeth, and that’s what the vet should have asked Kevin.

Moneyist: I am a farmer in my late 30s and live a simple life. My son has a disability. Do I have to pay extra for my mortgage or do I need to save for retirement?

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I canceled my vacation because my friend set up GoFundMe to help pay for my sick pet. Why do I need to help fund her trip?

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