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‘Once I left, I felt free’ A domestic violence survivor shares her story; signs of abuse and what to do – Honolulu, Hawaii

Honolulu, Hawaii 2021-10-21 01:43:13 –

Signs of abuse and what to do

Honolulu (KHON2) — Killing a former Hawaiian woman Maya Milete Find out how serious domestic violence can be. October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and there are several ways to identify and get help from abuse.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) More than 1 in 3 women experience domestic violence In their lifetime. In Hawaii, police reported a 16% increase in calls for domestic violence during the last year.

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Domestic violence is the abuser’s power and control over the victim, and there are resources for those in need. One survivor said getting out was one of the most difficult things she had ever done. Now, more than a year later, she wants to leave sooner.

“I felt free after I left.”

Survivors of domestic violence

For her, the limit came when her boyfriend attacked her during her pregnancy.

“I was suffocated, and I was picked up from the floor and slammed against the wall. At that time, I was pregnant,” she said with tears in her eyes and struggling to speak. So I explained. “And I had to protect my baby.”

She said she found a loophole through a doctor’s consultation.

“My doctor showed me the card, and I think it’s a fairly standard procedure.” Have you ever been kicked or pushed or beaten? ? Have you ever or have you experienced these things at home? ”That was the catalyst. “

This doctor’s visit was when she broke down.

“I was crying out of control, so the doctor comforted me and told me that resources were available to help with the domestic violence situation.”

The survivors of this domestic violence chose to share her story because they wanted other women being abused to know that they were not alone.

“There are people out there who have had the same experience as you, want to help you, and can relate to you.”

Domestic violence survivor

Nancy Clademan, CEO Domestic Violence Action Center, Said it could happen to anyone.

“Domestic violence is not discriminatory,” said Kredman. “The people we listen to and contact us come from all parts of the island.”

Here’s a list of questions to ask and signs to look for if someone is suspected of being abused.

  • Did they make a sudden change in their life patterns?
  • Would they like to skip work, become more recluse and attend family events as usual?
  • Do you wear out-of-season clothing such as long sleeves, trousers, and glasses to hide your bruises?
  • Do they always look at their partners as if they were asking for permission before speaking?
  • Do their partners constantly send phone calls or text messages to check them out?

“Abusive control of a partner creates limits and imposes limits on that person,” Craidman explained.

She also said she trusts your instincts.

“We tend to minimize or take a different view or not believe that this may be happening to someone we know,” Kredman added.

Robert Boyak, director of child and family services programs, said the best way to help people experiencing domestic violence is to listen to them and be there.

“The best thing you can do is be there to keep them out of judgment,” Boyak explained. “Tell them that you are there for them.”

He also said that people need to give them time and be patient — it’s not realistic to expect them to be able to make a difference quickly.

“They’ve been doing this relationship for years (often), and it’s not practical to be able to change it with the click of a switch.”

Boyak also said he was careful not to judge them.

“Don’t sacrifice them again. Don’t give them the following comments. What are you doing with him?” This kind of comment can be very damaging to them. .. “

Robert Boyak, Child and Family Services Program Administrator

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If you or someone you know needs help, please send a phone call or text message Domestic Violence Action Center 605-956-8560 hotline.You can also contact Children and family services Center crisis hotline for domestic violence at 808-841-0822.

‘Once I left, I felt free’ A domestic violence survivor shares her story; signs of abuse and what to do Source link ‘Once I left, I felt free’ A domestic violence survivor shares her story; signs of abuse and what to do

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