Life Style

Psychological flexibility may be the key to a happy romantic and family relationship

“All happy families are the same. All unhappy families are reasonably unhappy,” Leo Tolstoy wrote famously at the beginning of Anna Karenina in 1878. It turns out that the Russian author was working on something.

Indeed, a cohesive family seems to share some important characteristics-psychologists agree. Emotional flexibility may be one of the most important factors in terms of longevity and overall health in your romantic and family relationship.

This is the discovery of a new meta-analysis at the University of Rochester. Journal of Contextual Behavioral ScienceA statistical combination of the results of 174 individual studies investigating Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Mindfulness, and Emotional Regulation.

Researchers’ objectives reveal how careful flexibility on the one hand and lack of attention, unconsciousness, and strict flexibility on the other hand relate to family dynamics and romantic relationships. It was to do.

Simply put, this meta-analysis has the potential to be careful and emotionally flexible in difficult and difficult situations, not only to improve the lives of individuals, but also to strengthen and enrich their close relationships. Emphasizes that there iss. “

Ronald Lodge, Co-author and Associate Professor of Psychology Research, University of Rochester

Psychological flexibility and lack of flexibility

Psychological flexibility is defined as a set of skills that people use when presented with difficult or challenging thoughts, emotions, emotions, or experiences. Such skills include:

  • Be open to both good and bad experiences and accept them, no matter how challenging or difficult
  • Be careful and careful about the current moment in your daily life
  • Experience thoughts and feelings without being obsessed with
  • Maintain a broader perspective, even in difficult thoughts and feelings
  • Learn to actively maintain contact with our deeper values, regardless of daily stress or chaos
  • Continue to take steps toward your goals in the face of difficult experiences and setbacks

The opposite-lack of psychological flexibility-explains six specific behaviors, including:

  • Actively avoid difficult thoughts, feelings and experiences
  • Distracted and neglected to lead daily life
  • Get caught up in difficult thoughts and feelings
  • Seeing difficult thoughts and feelings as personal reflections and being judged or embarrassed to have them
  • Lose sight of deeper priorities in the stress and turmoil of everyday life
  • Frustrations and difficult experiences can easily derail and prevent you from taking a step towards deeper goals.

Psychologists believe that a rigorous and inflexible response to a difficult or difficult experience is dysfunctional and ultimately contributes to and exacerbates a person’s psychopathology.

How flexibility shapes interactions

Through their analysis, co-authors Jennifer Dax and Lodge, PhD candidates for the Faculty of Psychology in Rochester, found that higher levels of parental flexibility in various forms within the family relate to: I found that.

  • More Use of Adaptive Parenting Strategies
  • Few cases of loose, harsh, and negative parenting strategies
  • Reduce the stress and burden of parenting
  • Larger family unity
  • Reduces child pain

In a romantic relationship, various forms of high levels of psychological flexibility were linked below:

  • Low satisfaction with the relationship between yourself and your partner
  • Decreased sexual satisfaction
  • Lower emotional support
  • Greater negative conflict, physical aggression, anxiety about attachment, avoidance of attachment

Results suggest that psychological flexibility and lack of flexibility can play an important role in both couples and families in shaping how individuals interact with their closest people. The researchers write that they are doing it.

A meta-analysis, commonly referred to as “research studies,” consolidates and adds to the findings of previous studies in the lodge where he and his team tested the effectiveness of a couple watching a movie together and later talking about the movie. In the film, the lodge and his colleagues bring careful awareness, compassion, and flexibility back into the relationship, as the couple uses the film to provoke meaningful relationship discussions, leading to short-term and long-term gains. Showed that you can.

The study, conducted in 2013, found that a cheap, fun, and relatively simple watch-and-talk approach was as effective as other more focused therapist-led methods. That’s more than halving the divorce or divorce rate from 24 to 11. Percentage after the first 3 years of marriage.

“The results suggest that husbands and wives have a fairly good understanding of what is right and wrong in their relationship,” the lodge said in a previous study.

“You may not need to teach them a lot of skills to lower the divorce rate. You may need to make them think about their current behavior. And five movies will give us three years. To make a profit-that’s great. “

Rogge recently told People magazine that watching a movie featuring a couple on the screen and discussing it with a partner can have a positive effect on your relationship. “May be a lifesaver during quarantine” is a simple exercise.

Which movie will be shown? As Good As It Gets, Funny girl, Gone with the wind, Love story, Conditions of happiness, The Devil Wears Prada,and Bride’s father Here are some of the movies Rogge and his fellow researchers used in a 2013 couple’s study.

Looking for LGBTQ recommendations? Rogge suggests Kids are ok, The wedding banquet, Bird cage, And episodes Grace & Frankie..


Journal reference:

Daks, JS & Rogge, RD (2020) Investigation of the correlation between romantic relationships and psychological flexibility in family dynamics: meta-analysis. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science..

Psychological flexibility may be the key to a happy romantic and family relationship

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