2020-11-21 01:57:06 –
Dear Abbey: When my boyfriend at the time asked me to marry him, he wasn’t ready for the ring, but I was happy to accept his proposal. We were in our late twenties and had been dating for almost 10 years. Then he took me to a jewelry store, so I was able to choose (within my budget) my tastes and tastes. We took a picture of the ring, and he told me to bring his mother back to the jewelry store with him so he could help with the price hike.
A week later he told me he had purchased, and we two couldn’t wait for our engagement as we took the next step in our relationship. To my surprise that day, the ring he put on my finger was not the one I chose. But in front of his family, my family, and perhaps 40 guests, I pretended that nothing had happened.
I wasn’t happy at all, so I later told him privately that it wasn’t the ring I chose. His answer was that his mother thought it looked better than what I liked (in my opinion it was cheap and sticky) and I was overreacting. .. If he didn’t take me shopping, I told him I wish I had the ring he bought. When I talk about it, he beats me. Why did he take me and ignore my opinion? Abby, am I overreacting? — Deceived by California
Dear Fool: You are not overreacting. Your fiancée’s mom was very nervous. She apparently dominated the roost and chose the opportunity to assert herself. To make matters worse, her son seems to value your opinion. He has an obligation to apologize to you.
If this has happened recently and you haven’t married this award yet, you two should consider traveling back to that jeweler. Hopefully this scenario will not be repeated with the choice of wedding ring.
Dear Abbey: My husband was a drug addict 18 years ago. It was a very difficult time for us. He experienced rehab and we were almost divorced. Fast forward: He’s on track and we still have problems, but he hasn’t used heavy medication for 17 years. To relieve his anxiety, he drinks occasionally or uses CBD oil.
Last weekend, my sister-in-law told her son (17 years old at the time) about her husband’s drug problems when he was young. We always felt that we would keep our husband’s past quiet and have that conversation with his son when he was ready.
I’m furious at what she said to him. It must have been our choice, not her. She violated my trust. There has been a lot of hostility between her husband and sister in the past, so I’m sure she did it nonetheless. I’m so angry that I’m afraid I’ll explode and ruin my weak relationship with her. Also, my husband will probably want to disown her for this betrayal. What are you instructing? — Betrayed in South Carolina
Dear Betrayal: If your sister knew you wanted to avoid this until your son was old, she betrayed your trust. When you’re calm, talk to her and ask if what you’re told is true, and if so, why she does that. Once you know all the facts, your husband must be told that the cat is out of the bag. Then you can decide if you want to continue your relationship with this sister. And since the predisposition to addiction can be carried out in the family, talk about it with your son and his long postponed story.
Dear Abbey, was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact DearAbby at www.DearAbby.com or POBox 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Ring presented at engagement ceremony is unhappy surprise – Twin Cities Source link Ring presented at engagement ceremony is unhappy surprise – Twin Cities